Thursday, September 10, 2015

What I Would Tell My Best Friend...

In less than 3 months my very best friend is going to make a long, but memorable walk down the aisle. She will be glowing and nervous and anxious and a million other emotions- especially happy. I literally can't even type this without getting tears in my eyes. I'm so excited for her and the blessings that marriage will bring to her life and that of her partner. Part of me is screaming 'hurry up, marriage is so much fun' and another part of me just wants to yell 'enjoy all the moments- everything happens so fast'. Mostly, however, I am just excited for her. But I still don't know what to say. I want to say willingly making this commitment is such an incredible moment for your lives and things WILL be different after it. But that seems like real heavy. So I decided here are the 5 things (some fun, some serious) that she needs to know. 

All images courtesy of the amazing Jackie Ray Photography.

1) Don't listen to anyone else's advice. 

I mean nothing more than I mean this. People will tell you ridiculous things. They will try to explain why everything costs so much (a conspiracy is the only answer I will accept), what you will want from this day in pictures 30 years from now, and exactly how many appetizers you NEED per person (FYI- I will eat twice this number), but none of that matters. You are one of the most fiercely independent people I know. Do exactly what you want and make others feel comfortable with this decision. Listen to input, but it is you and your partner's decision. There is one amendment, unless I say something then do it with no regard for my no-advice-advice.

2) It is more than a party. 

This will probably be the best party that you ever have and I completely respect your ability to make it an extraordinary event, but it is so much more than a party. Spend the time that you would spend worrying about table linens (the thought makes my blood run cold) on prepping for what you want your marriage to look like and how you plan to live out that commitment everyday. Talk through those rough spots that you don't see eye-to-eye on and take care of business first. Pray about the massive (and, yes, at times scary {wedding/ marriage planning should definitely include wine}) commitment that you are making. You will have a great time, it will be a great party, and I personally can't wait for the open bar, but even better than all those things is that you will be married to an amazing man at the end of the day.

3) Don't let the sticks get in your way. 

On our wedding day you followed me traipsing through fields with my big tulle-y dress collecting hay/bugs/and a comically long stick. That is great! When we ordered these bridesmaids dresses on Etsy from China and they were hilariously mismatched. It was a great thing to laugh at. When it was hours before the shindig and we had to re-do the whole seating chart, it was great (and a lil stressful). Andrew forgot some of his things and my mom walked about wearing a BBQ bib because she forgot she was wearing it. I found both of these things funny and great (when I learned about them after the fact). I hope that you have the most perfectly imperfect wedding day possible. I hope that you laugh at these things wholeheartedly and that they day is full of joy. Joy of your marriage. Joy of new families. Joy of home-brewed beer. And that everyone sees how joyful you are. I hope that you choose joy on this day and as many of the rest of 'em as you can muster. 

4) Know that marriage will ruin* your life. 

It will ruin your life when you REALLY want to watch the ND football game, but he has claimed the TV. It will ruin your life when you REALLY want Chinese food for dinner, but you know that you should stay on budget and eat your leftovers.  It will ruin you when you are typing a blog and he really wants to change the outlet covers so the power and internet turn off (true life this stinks). It will ruin your life when you see your own flaws from your partner's vantage point. It will ruin your life when over the smallest thing/decision/comment you see how innately selfish we all are and how selfless your partner is being. It will ruin your life when you have to make a decision for your new family that is far different than what you would have done before. BUT IT IS SO MUCH MORE. Marriage is the best gift that I get to give to Andrew and am lucky enough to receive from him everyday. It brings together two people with endless imperfections and creates something so much better than that. It will ruin your old self and make you into something better than before. Respect and accept that change. 

*Ruin in a good way... I promise 

5) Take some time with just you and your new shiny husband. 

Do this on your wedding day and on every other day ever. You two are now the most dynamic duo around and putting that relationship first will allow the rest of life's priorities to fall in place around it. Your wedding is one expensive day, but your marriage is for a lifetime. Take some time to enjoy this moment and thousands that will come after it. Getting caught up in the to-dos and endless bridal bonanza is easy, but not nearly as much fun as spending some good old sweatpant-wearing-netflix-watching-buzzfeed-reading time.

Writing this was probably selfishly more for me than anything. I vividly remember you walking into my parents house a few days before our wedding and having a momentary freak out while crying into you (bags still in hand). Ooops! I remember the first time I heard you talking about this gentleman and being cautiously optimistic. I remember getting to watch the two of you together and the thousand memories before. I cant wait to remember  the thousand memories left to come! L- I'm so excited for you. I can't wait till that warm, sunny, beautiful (wishful thinking, right?!?) December day and everything after that.

And just one more wedding picture because I love it...

Soon enough we can drink wine and poke fun at the fools that decided to marry us together! Now enough of this sappy stuff, I need to go work out to fit into that dress...



  1. Such a fun post and that last photo could not be more beautiful!!! We went off to a separate room while everyone was in cocktail hour and just had some food and talked about what just happened lol! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

  2. Love this! These photos are gorgeous and such great advice! So many people worry about so many things on their wedding day and it passes by so fast!
    <3, Pamela
    Sequins & Sea Breezes

  3. what gorgeous photos! and i love the sweet advice to her!

  4. beautiful!! this is all true and one rule we live by: don't sweat the small stuff! esp living with someone with totally different living the end of the day, a little mess or stuff he doesn't put away (or you don't) won't kill anyone.

  5. chinese food is always better than leftovers though!
    fabulous advice girl :) and gorgeous photos!

  6. Ahh this is so sweet. You're a great friend, I can tell. :) And it makes me extremely excited because my wedding is exactly one month from today!!! Ahhhh!

  7. It is so sweet, I hope she reads this it will show her how much you care about her and support her. The pictures are beautiful..Hope you have a great day!!!

  8. Such a beautiful tribute to your bestie! Love it all - so true! And can we talk about how gorgeous your wedding photos are?! <3

  9. Such great tips! I especially love #5. It's so important to recognize what the purpose of the wedding is in the first place. Netflix with my husband is seriously the best.

  10. This was so cute! I love all the advice you gave and I hope one day when I get married I remember it. Your friend is really lucky to have you as her friend.